review: Bad romance by heather demetrios

Grace wants out. Out of her house, where her stepfather wields fear like a weapon and her mother makes her scrub imaginary dirt off the floors. Out of her California town, too small to contain her big city dreams. Out of her life, and into the role of Parisian artist, New York director—anything but scared and alone.

Enter Gavin: charming, talented, adored. Controlling. Dangerous. When Grace and Gavin fall in love, Grace is sure it's too good to be true. She has no idea their relationship will become a prison she's unable to escape.
Deeply affecting and unflinchingly honest, this is a story about spiraling into darkness—and emerging into the light again. ~ Goodreads

Source: ARC provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review

Review:

I was hesitant to read another book about an abusive relationship because they usually 1) glamorize the abuser and 2) send in another boy to *rescue* her, but I loved I’ll Meet You There by Demetrios. It was raw and gritty and I trusted her to get it right – and oh boy did she get it right.

Grace tells the reader the story of how she fell for the enigmatic Gavin and then her struggle back from all the damage he leaves in his wake.

Grace is from a poor, California town with a toxic home life. Her father suffers from PTSD, abandoned the family and is addicted to drugs. Her mother moved on to an abusive husband. Grace calls them the “Contrite and Subservient Female” and “The Giant”. Grace has a front row seat to an abusive relationship. She knows it’s bad, is mad that her mother doesn’t fight back or leave. She has big dreams of getting out of her small town and moving to NYC or Paris, is active in her school theater and is surrounded by supportive friends but is still left vulnerable because of the abuse and the constant fear at home.

Bad Romance shows how it begins – the boy who is artistic, witty, supportive and showers her in hearts and flowers…then slowly manipulates, isolates and chips away at that confidence.

I don’t want to give a lot away. I think this book is best read without knowing too much. This isn’t about who Grace ends up with or if she can save the boy or find a new boy to make her whole again. This is about how this could happen to anyone and that yes, there is a way out.

I’ve had several friends endure abusive relationships. So many things that happened to Grace happened to them, almost verbatim. It was really difficult to read at times. This isn’t a swoony YA romance but it’s powerful, important and hopeful with beautiful friendships.

It’s also incredibly well written. There aren’t simply good guys vs bad guys. You will definitely not be a fan of her mom, step father or Gavin but you can see the reasons behind their actions (or inaction). Despite the story being told in second person, past tense, I felt like I was right there – every step of the way with Grace. The pacing is brutal but excellent. I read Bad Romance in just a few hours.

I think everyone should be reading this book – boys, girls, parents. Not every case looks like Grace’s but there are universal signs to watch for and ways to help and this book is a good starting point.

I don’t usually mention trigger warnings but this is a particularly intense book so highlight below if you need to know:

emotional/verbal abuse, talk of/attempted suicide, non consensual sex

*I want to take the time to recommend another book that I reviewed way back in 2010 about domestic violence from a boy’s POV. He was both a victim and potential abuser and it’s about his struggles to recognize the cycle and learn better coping mechanisms for s anger- SPLIT by Swati Avasthi