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Question: If you could go back and change one thing about your life, what would it be?
Answer: I just hit 58 years old last week (YIKES) and it has me feeling a little reflective.
I don't really have one specific thing I'd do differently but more of a "I wish I knew then what I know now" kind of list. I did not enjoy my teen years, but I wouldn't really change any one event as it led to to where I am now.
I wish I hadn't worried so much about what other people thought or about fitting in. In reality - people aren't thinking about or judging you as much as you think they are, and you will hardly ever see them later in life anyway. I found out many years later that the people I thought were the happiest and coolest were deeply troubled and unhappy and just hid it better.
I wish I had worn more sunscreen and stayed out of the sun. That comes back to bite you when you're older. Trust me lol
I would have tried more foods. I didn't even try sour cream until my late 20's. I lived on McD's, KFC, Burger King. I still stand by those food choices lol but I lived in places like Seattle, WA and wouldn't try the fish or any of the amazing things they had at the markets. Now, trying foods is what I live for!
I wish I had been less afraid to try new things or fail. I spent most of my teen and younger life staying safe and not daring to try things because I didn't want to fail or look stupid in front of people.
Luckily, I took a lot of this to heart as an adult and have been loving me life. Once you hit a certain age, you start to give 0 f*cks about what other people think and go live your own life. It's so liberating!
As for the best thing I ever did - it was marrying Kevin. We were just babies at 22. Everyone told us we were crazy and it would never work out but here we are 36 years later. We outlasted most of my friends - who married when older but are now divorced.
I can't imagine a life with a better matched, kind, supportive person than him.
P.S. If you could send some good vibes my way for tomorrow - I'd appreciate it. I have a chest CT scan and super nervous. I'll do an update soon about my coughing/health care app (STILL not working) soon.
That's awesome! It's never too late to make positive changes. I love that!
ReplyDeleteYou can still teach an old dog new tricks lol
DeleteI agree. Even though there are events I'd rather not have endured, I wouldn't go back and change what happened. I am where I am now because of them. I do wish the outcome of one of the most pivotal event in my life was a bit different. I wish my family had supported me more and helped me heal more quickly. Again, though, if they had, I don't know how my life would've been different--who would I have not met, which cats would I not have had, etc.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your CT scan. I hope it goes well and that the results are positive. Sending happy, healing thoughts your way.
It's tough when some of the big life events are sad or harmful. Mine was losing my mom at 16. It shaped everything about me, and it made me who I am - both good and bad traits.
DeleteThanks for the well wishes Jenni ❤️
Well that is true. I wish I had cared less about what other people think and just gone for things
ReplyDeleteI wish I had at least tried more creative things when I was younger - whether I was good at it or not. I try to make myself now
DeleteGood luck with the CT. I hope the results are good.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I would change anything I did. If I could go back and change things others did I might do that.
Ha! I kind of like that twist.
DeleteBefore I had my son I probably would have given a mile long list of things I would have done differently, but now I wouldn't know which one of those things would have lead to me not meeting his father. So no big changes, anyway. My grandmother wanted to teach me how to play the violin, and how to tat lace. I really wish I had been interested. 😔
ReplyDeleteIt's wonderful that you found your "soulmate" early. Dating in one's 20s and 30s can be a real drag. 😛
I hope everything went well with your chest scan. Please update soon. ☀
Thank you. Still waiting for results.
DeleteKevin's grandmother tatted too and I'm so upset that I can't find some of the things she's made us :-( But I have ornaments she made, quilts and the pans she gave us when we first got married.
Sending all the positive vibes about the CT scan. I hope things went well!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's wonderful you found Kevin so young and you're still going strong. :)
I don't know what I'd change - I guess being a bit more braver at a younger age, but I do think I've gotten a lot better as time went on, so you know. Again, a lot of things are what make you who you are now so it's hard to say what I'd change.
Lauren @ www.shootingstarsmag.net
Yeah, exactly. I wish I was beaver then too but I wouldn't be me or be where I'm at now with Kevin.
DeleteSending the vibes! And great post. That's so cool about you and Kevin... you're right, it can be a rocky road and not everyone makes, so yay! I agree about taking chances too- I kinda wish I had done that, been willing to major in something else and embrace maybe having to go elsewhere to do it. I played it safe too. And yes totrying new foods!
ReplyDeleteThe giving 0 f*cks resonates with me too haha with some people in my life. Mainly some extended family who I can just... do without. Luckily just a few lol
I do not worry about what people think of me anymore. I do not care lol
DeleteGetting married young can - and usually dies - go wrong, but we were lucky.
Thanks for the vibes!
Excellent post. Your observations are smart and reflect regrets most of us have. Primarily of trying to please others too much, fit in, and not explore life. Young people should listen to us when we say this. Good luck with your health.
ReplyDeleteThey never do though do they! I know I never listened and now I recall things my father tried to tell me (or catch myself saying) and realize he was right.
DeleteSO much of youth is spent worrying about what other people think and holding ourselves back because of it.
My best friend met up with the girl who was considered the coolest, most popular girl back in HS and found out she was miserable and just putting up a façade to hide the pain of what was happening in her life. She ended up going in the military to get away. but she always wished she was us.
I totally agree about wishing I didn't care what people thought of me as much. There are a few things I wish I could undo, though. Mistakes. Nothing to be done about it other than move on and learn.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on being married so long! Sounds like you made a great match!
I hope your CT scans come back with good results for you! It's so stressful waiting on news like that. Sending positive thoughts your way!
Thank you Rachel!
Delete"I wish I had worn more sunscreen and stayed out of the sun. That comes back to bite you when you're older. Trust me lol"
ReplyDeleteI didn't expect this 😂.
"I wish I had been less afraid to try new things or fail. I spent most of my teen and younger life staying safe and not daring to try things because I didn't want to fail or look stupid in front of people."
I've always given "0 f*ucks" about other people's judgement, but I've always been afraid of trying new things nevertheless...just afraid to get out of my confort zone. I still am...
"I can't imagine a life with a better matched, kind, supportive person than him."
Aw. Did he read this post? 😉
Yeah, I didn't care about other people exactly, just failing in front of people who I perceive as smarter, more talented etc. Like taking an portrait art class & I hand in what's essentially a stick figure lol ... if that makes sense. Or just being uncomfortable, as you said. I don't like the feeling so it's just easier to stay status quo.
DeleteI'm working on it but it's hard to rewire your brain at almost 60 yrs old lol
I'm way behind in commenting... I hope everything went well at the doctor's office. Great advice for the current generation!
ReplyDeleteYou can't be more behind than I am lol Thanks Jen <3
DeleteWow, what a great topic. I'm not that I would change anything. But like you I wish I had figured some things out earlier. I spent far too many years worrying about what other people thought of me. And missed out on a lot fun because I was too self-conscious to let go of that worry. Age definitely brings some clarity and at 54 the thought of worrying what people think seems like a huge waste of my time.
ReplyDeleteIt really is! You don't see half the people you were worried about ever again and they really aren't thinking about you as much as you think they are lol
Delete