review: finding yvonne by brandy colbert

Since she was seven years old, Yvonne has had her trusted violin to keep her company, especially in those lonely days after her mother walked out on their family. But with graduation just around the corner, she is forced to face the hard truth that she just might not be good enough to attend a conservatory after high school.

Full of doubt about her future, and increasingly frustrated by her strained relationship with her successful but emotionally closed-off father, Yvonne meets a street musician and fellow violinist who understands her struggle. He’s mysterious, charming, and different from Warren, the familiar and reliable boy who has her heart. But when Yvonne becomes unexpectedly pregnant, she has to make the most difficult decision yet about her future. ~ Goodreads

Source: ARC received via ALA18

Review:
I had been wanting to give Colbert’s writing a try and picked up both her Stonewall Award winning book, Little & Lion (purchased) and an arc of Finding Yvonne at a signing while I was at ALA.

I’m so glad I did because this quiet little story packed a lot of emotional punch.

Yvonne has always been surrounded by people who knew their calling right away and are brilliant at it. Her dad is an a successful chef and restaurant owner, his sous chef, and Yvonne’s love interest, Warren, is an up and coming star in the food scene.

For Yvonne, the violin is her talent and escape but when she realizes that she’s not going to be the best – or even good enough to get into a conservatory – her hopes are shattered and confidence shaken.

Finding Yvonne does a wonderful job of showing how messy and confusing and SCARY it can be as a teenager – not quite an adult but no longer a child - when everyone around you seems to have it all together but your path suddenly changes.

To complicate matters, Yvonne’s mother abandoned her when she was a child. Her father loves her but is distant and unwilling to answer Yvonne’s questions about her mom. He provides the essentials but lacks in providing the affection and advice a teenage girl craves. She’s lonely and scared and seeks comfort and guidance in those who don’t judge her and give her the attention she craves.

Yvonne is quick to feel the sting of rejection and sometimes makes it bigger than it is, unwilling to see that some of her friends and mentors are opening the door to new possibilities, but that’s all part of her working things out. She stumbles, makes choices that complicate matters but it was all written so beautifully and realisticly.

Yvonne’s relationships with her father, Warren, best friend, Sabina, and an enigmatic musician she meets are complex and nuanced and often explore the intersections of race, class and expectations.

In particular, the relationship with her father cut me deep. I felt like Colbert had actually somehow been in my house when I was a teen recording conversations I had with my own father. My mother died from cancer when I was a teen and while I didn’t have the abandonment issues that Yvonne has, the relationship with her dad was so spot on it was difficult to read at times. It was strained, messy and awkward - both making mistakes but the love between them was still there.

This is a book that I wish I had when I was a teen. And a book that I apparently need as a 50-ish year old woman as well. It made me reflect on so many things that I saw one way as a teen but in hindsight - have more empathy for what my father was going through as well.

As the blurb says – there is an unexpected pregnancy. I wouldn’t call Finding Yvonne sex positive so much as sex realistic. Colbert shows all the joys and consequences of sex. All the choices and all the possible outcomes in a non-judgmental way not often explored in YA.

I’m going to discuss what may be considered a spoiler concerning the pregnancy and another issue below. Highlight if you’re interested.

SPOILER:
Many readers felt Yvonne cheated on Warren and I HATE cheating in books but let me explain why I didn’t have a problem with it here.

 For one, I don’t consider this a romance. This is a book about Yvonne. her coming of age, her choices, her potential and possibilities. While there are romantic interests in her life – and consequences – it’s not the main theme. Yvonne made her choices and had to live with them. The author did a wonderful job letting every character have their say about how it impacted them. < END SPOILER

If you’re looking for a YA romance (which I LOVE!!!) this is not it. This is a book about the complexities of growing up, becoming a responsible adult, about opening yourself up to new options, even f it’s scary, even if it isn’t what other people expect or want from you.

Highlight for content warnings: drug use, sexual situations, pregnancy, abortion