You all know I moved from my home of 20+ years in FL to Washington State last March. It was a dramatic change and stressful move but it was so much more for me and left me in a really dark place for most of the last 10 months.
It’s not that I loved FL (it was fine – more that I loved my life there) or that I dislike WA (it’s beautiful) but everything I had planned and accomplished for my life & future was uprooted and needed to be started again. Add in health problems with Fonzi and…I did not handle it well.
It’s been really difficult – for a lot of reasons – that for your sake I won’t get into (I actually did write a long emo post but then deleted it because yikes! You don’t need to hear that – but it was cathartic! lol).
I saw this sign over the holidays and just thought it was funny but the more I look at it – the more it resonates with me and now I’m really glad that I bought it.
I honestly feel like I’ve gone through the 5 stages of grief over the past 10 months (have I really been in WA that long already??!!) and I’m ready to:
Let that crap go…
So there's my phrase heading in to 2020 lol
I do have a few bookish resolutions that I'll talk about in an upcoming post.
Do you have a resolution or word or goals for the upcoming year?
Feel free to leave a link if you have a post I missed about it.
Awww. I, for one, would have liked to read that emo post. I don't think I fully realised it was such a shock for you to start anew until now. I mean, I knew you had issues adjusting to your new life, and it was expected, but it finally dawned on me that it took its toll in a much deeper way. I guess it's because you sound more practical and able to handle what life throws at you than I ever could be...but then again, I reckon it's our online personas - maybe you see me that way too and I'm a mess instead LOL (though I'm more vocal about it, so maybe you just see the real me 😉).
ReplyDeleteI bet you're going to have a spectacular new year, now that you left the aforementioned crap behind!
It's weird because I did say that I was having a rough time but I have had good times too and those pictures override I think. It's not like I can post a picture of - "here's a cup of Karen's tears" lol
DeleteI think it's because of stage of life I'm in. As you know, I'm...ahem...older lol and we were on course for early retirement. I even paid my mortgage off early and now it's like starting from scratch but in my 50's and I did not want to do that ha! And it's SO much more expensive out here. It's just been really jarring in a way I hadn't expected.
I feel like I'm coming out the other side. Some if it is just accepting it. It happened and I need to move on and at least with the new house - which brings it's own stresses - but I can feel more settled. In the rental I couldn't unpack fully or make anything my own so that just made things worse.
Onward and upward! lol
A change like that is huge. I think often times a lot of our identity, or plans for the future whatever you want to call it, are linked with where we live, maybe more than we realize sometimes- I know I had a chance to move for a different job a few years ago and it was incredibly stressful- the thought of uprooting the family, schools, the culture of the area. We ended up not moving and staying where we were, and I often wonder if we did the right thing, but luckily it was a voluntary thing, not like a transfer where I might have HAD to do it. But anyway- my point is haha yay for you for coming to terms with your new life, and sounds like you have a great outlook on it- just letting it go.
ReplyDeleteBoy did you hit the nail on the head with that first sentence. I knew it would be tough but I had no idea how adrift I would feel. It's like everything I worked towards or loved was ripped away.
DeleteI don't know what changed but I don't feel that panic anymore and I'm getting back to my usual self.
I can't imagine up and moving from where I live - where I've lived my whole life! I'm sure it was a shock and hard to adjust. I'm sorry it's been a bit of a rough past 10 months, but I love your phrase for the new year and I hope 2020 is a great one! I hope you're settled more and loving your new hometown, I hope that Fonzi continues to do well, and that you read lots of amazing books and go on cool adventures!!! :)
ReplyDelete-Lauren
www.shootingstarsmag.net
We moved a lot in our early years of marriage because Kevin was in the Navy. I wasn't looking forward to moving but I truly didn't think it would hit me so hard.
DeleteIt was more the stage of life I'm at - I was thinking more traveling and retirement - not taking out a new 30 year mortgage lol
Change is so hard and stressful. I can't believe you've already been there this long! Seems like the year is flying. I think that phrase can be helpful to many - including myself!
ReplyDeleteI don't make resolutions, because I end up just breaking them or being half-assed about them. I'm more focused on staying healthy and continuing the norm. I'm all about finding happiness in the little things and self care.
I feel like it's only been about 6 months so I was shocked it's almost been a year!
DeleteYeah - resolutions don't work for me. I try to pick a mood or frame of mind that feels natural. It's not anything specific but something I can come back to as a reminder when I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Happy New Year Brandi!
I don't do life resolutions these days though I'm hoping for less stress this year. I want to enjoy blogging, reading and watching stuff and actually enjoying it all more!
ReplyDeleteResolutions of any kind freak me out. I'll immediately do the opposite lol
DeleteI hope you have a stress free 2020!
I love it, I hope you have that sign in every room of your house! I love your idea of a word of the year and I keep forgetting to decide on my own. I think my word would be "balance."
ReplyDeleteIt's above my mantle in the living room. I'm so glad I bought it because now I neeed it lol
DeleteYou're going to need balance this year! You;;l be juggling all the things.
Best phrase for the new year ever! :) I hope this year you really are able to let it all go and focus on creating a new normal.
ReplyDeleteI already am and it feels great. I'm not quite there yet but way more good days than bad now.
DeleteI am sorry that the transition has been so tough for you. I can totally relate. I loved my life in Phoenix, and then to be uprooted from my career and my friends and to have to start over was so hard. I was an emotional wreck for months. Then I got pregnant and it was another roller coaster. Anyway, hang in there. It will get better. It took me a year or more before I felt comfortable in my new home.
ReplyDeleteYou had told me that before and I do keep reminding myself of it so thank you :-)
DeleteI'm getting there. It was so much harder than I thought and it's really more about the stage of life I was in and near future plans being uprooted than the location but I'm starting to be able to refocus and see the good now.
I'm sorry to hear that last year was so hard for you. Give yourself a break because it's ok to feel like that. I hope this year is a better one for you.
ReplyDeleteYeah Mary, that was hard for me because most people on the outside saw it as a great thing so it was hard being so sad when everyone else thinks your life is amazing or that I should get used it already. It takes time.
DeleteThat's a huge change and I'm so sorry you've had such a hard time and hope 2020 brings you nothing but happiness.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I think I'm in a better space now. Definitely more positive days than negative now.
DeleteThat's a great phrase to live by. It's not always easy to do, but it is definitely a good idea.
ReplyDeleteI like phrases that sort of remind me to get back on track throughout the year rather than one specific goal. I really needed this one lol
DeleteI'm glad I'm not the only one who writes emo posts and then deletes them! I usually go there in the In Real Life section of my monthly wrap-up, and then end up cutting it all and just saying it didn't kill me, so let's move on. I hope 2020 will see you settling in more and finding even more things to be happy about. (((((((HUGS)))))))
ReplyDeleteI'm still sending good vibes for Fonzi. 🐾✨
I usually try and learn one new thing every year I don't remember what last year's "thing" was though, ha ha, so I doubt I accomplished it. I think it might have been making macarons and in that case I didn't earn my badge. 😁 I guess I'll have to double up this year. ☺
Oh lordy...no one needed to hear me whine. And yes, after I wrote it I realized I was just trying to rehash everything and prove I was justified in my anger/sadness rather than moving on lol It was very cathartic to get it all out though.
DeleteThat's a fun thing to do each year - so yeah learn TWO things now La La!!! lol
I absolutely love your phrase! That is what everyone should do
ReplyDeleteEasier said than done but it's always a good reminder.
DeleteThis year I tried to summarize y goals and resolutions to two words: Space and Kindness :)
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to come up with just a few words! LOL
I totally get what you say about feeling uprooted having to start again. So I hope you do feel better in that regard this year! Looking forward to your bookish resolution post! Mine is coming up soon too :)
It is! I usually have to wait until something feels right.
DeleteAnd thanks for the reminder lol I still need to write that blog goal post.
Having a phrase for the year is such a great idea and I love this one you've chosen. I think your comment about grieving is very apt. Uprooting your whole life is a kind of death and rebirth so it's understandable that it would result in longterm emotional upheaval. Hopefully now you're coming out the other side of that and can begin to envisage your new future?
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't until I used that word (which felt over dramatic at first) that I realized it was a process I had to go through and it's normal and fine.
DeleteLetting Crap Go seems like a pretty good resolution to have! I'm still working out what I want from this year... Or in general. But that's a long emo post of my own waiting to happen (which I hope I'll delete before publishing! lol)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your move took such a toll. I hope that this year is a much better one for you. You've bought your house, Fonzi is doing okay, so I hope you can now settle, adjust and rebuild. :)
May we all delete that emo post lol
ReplyDelete