Reviews: The WTF Did I Just Read? Edition...

I've read several books recently that are all outside my reading comfort zone and were REALLY weird.

They are all kind of difficult to talk about without spoiling, so I apologize in advance for being a little vague but hopefully the important bits get across ok.

Also, these are not mini's so sorry for the longish post! Since I probably won't post again for 2-3 weeks, read one a day/week and pretend I'm being a good blogger and posting regularly lol

Also...I read THREE books! lol *pats self on back*

What. Was. This. Book? 

The Walls Around Us by Nova Ren Suma ~ Goodreads

Source/Format: Library, Audiobook

Review: The Walls Around Us has very mixed reviews, even within my friend reader group. It isn't anything I would typically read (magical realism, weird ending) but it was on Hoopla so I grabbed it because I've been wanting to read something by the author for awhile now.

The Walls Around Us tells the story, in alternating pov's, of Violet, a Julliard bound dancer, and Amber, who is serving time in a girls juvenile detention center. They are tied together through Orianna, who doesn't have a pov but just might have the story most worth telling.

As Violet is about to perform as lead dancer, finally not having to share the spotlight with Orianna, she's haunted by the events that took place that sent Orianna to Aurora hills Detention Center. I seem to be an outlier, in that I loved Violet's pov. She's not a good person. At all. I listened to this on audio and Vi's narration was raw, barely contained rage. Each word used was with precision, intended to cut and wound. I found her and her motivations riveting.

Amber's life at the prison is full of abuse and heartbreak. The girls stories unfold as they trudge through the daily routine and horror of their incarceration, mostly forgotten. 

Then we have Orianna, Vi's best friend, sent to Aurora Hills after a particularly brutal crime. She then shared a cell with Amber. This is where things start to overlap, and honestly, get weird. 

Every girl in this story is haunted - it's just a matter of how. Whether it's by innocence lost, overwhelming guilt, the desire to be seen or...haunted by actual ghosts. There's no denying that Nova Ren Suma is a master at exploring our societal ills, particularly violence towards girls - and the violence girls heap on each other. This looks at the horrors of a broken system but doesn't flinch when showing what the girls are capable of as well.

The story is told in a non-linear, often repeating fashion, with small details changing on each pass. It doesn't make a whole of sense, until it does - and maybe not even then lol

The reviews are pretty divided and I loved the things others seemed to dislike - like Vi and especially the ending. Which I won't say much about but I found it oddly poetic and felt like it clicked everything into place. But I can absolutely see why others did not see it this way. I thought of it as a supernatural comeuppance of sorts.

I didn't LOVE this book for a few reasons though. At the detention center, other than Amber, the other girls weren't fleshed out well. It kind of makes sense since they weren't the MC's but they are part of the story enough to want more. 

The switch in pov's from Vi to Amber was initially jarring before the finally gel together. As I said, I preferred Vi's intensity and Amber fell flatter when it flipped over to her - although most readers preferred Amber. 

These were both things that left me wishing that author picked one or the other story to tell although it does all tie together eventually and honestly, would have lost all of it's impact if done that way.

This is a difficult book to read - both technically and emotionally. It's dark, disturbing, confusing as hell and you have to work for it, while possibly not enjoying the payoff. Again, not my kind of read AT ALL, yet I enjoyed it overall and I'm still thinking about and questioning it all. 

CW: violence, bullying, abuse

Thriller Turducken

The Woman in the Library by Sulari Gentill    ~ Goodreads

Source/Format: Library, Audiobook

Review: The story begins with an Australian writer, Winefred (Freddie) in the Boston Public Library, working on her latest book and drawing inspiration from the cast of characters sitting around her. then a scream rings out and the patrons are forced to stay put until security finds out what happened. 

Freddie strikes up a friendship with the three strangers at their table and they bond over the shock of what is revealed to be a murder. Unfortunately, one of them is the murderer.

So far so good, this is a great story, the cast of characters were intriguing, the mystery compelling. Then Gentill adds another element to the mix. A character named Leo, who is a beta reader. Leo is part critique partner, part fan boy and an aspiring author himself. Initially, their email correspondence is productive, and as a reader, I liked how he could reflect on and question things happening that I was also confused/curious about and then have them clarified. It was an interesting device to use to both confuse yet clear up things as you read.

Leo's emails and comments get increasingly more hostile as his own authorial dreams seem to sour and he gets a little too attached to the author, characters and his opinions about where the story should go, not to mention he seems to have a lot of expertise about murder and crime scenes. 

So is this the story?? Or is Leo part of the other story? Does it matter if I get invested in something and it wasn't real? Or is this story so freaking layered and complex my brain can't comprehend??

I described this book as a thriller turducken in my initial reading update and I stand by it. lol

I am not completely thrilled with how this turned out in the end but it was very well done, considering the complexity to tie it all together and with the authors novel approach. Even though most thrillers have plenty of twists and turns, I don't think I've read anything else like it - although I don't read many thrillers.

Well written thriller but I got a little too caught up in what game the author was playing and which thing I should be invested in or if I was being duped. Your mileage will vary. I think this would be a great book club read though. It should spark a lot of discussion about both the story and the writing!

Psychopharmacologisticexpialidocious

From: title chapter 8 

Roxy by Neal Shusterman, Jarrod Shusterman

Source: Finished copy provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review

Review: Roxy was pitched to me because I enjoyed Dry, a YA dystopian novel, by the father, son duo. But my true love book by Neal Shusterman is Challenger Deep loosely based on his son, Brendan's, schizophrenia. That was such a weird, wonderful, compassionate look at mental illness & I was curious what he would do with the subject of addiction and the opioid crisis. 

Roxy follows siblings Isaac, the "good" son and brother with ambitions to get into the best aerospace engineering programs for a future at Jet Propulsions Laboratories (part of NASA), and Ivy, the "screw-up" daughter and sister. She of the bad choices, loser boyfriend, partying too hard.

After an injury, Isaac fears he will be sidelined from playing soccer. Something he desperately needs to help boost his grade point average up that fraction he needs to get into the school of his dreams. He gets help from an unexpected place - grandma - who gives him one of her Oxycontin pills just to take the edge off so he can finally get some sleep. 

Meanwhile, even Ivy gets sick of the constant drama with her boyfriend and failing her classes, so she finally agrees to go to the psychologist and take Adderall for her ADHD.

This is where things take a strange turn...we get the added pov's of Roxy (Roxycontin) and Addison (Adderall), as well as other drugs that they meet at "The Party".

Much like Challenger Deep's use of high concepts and fantasy mixed with reality, the Shusterman's use of allegory and anthropomorphizing of drugs in Roxy make this wholly unique as we watch both Isaac and Ivy enter the slippery slope of prescription drug addiction.

So, there are several cool things going on in Roxy. Each chapter has a hidden message in bold within the title. 

*In this photo - Isaac, Ivy, and the infinite loser = the finite. I loved those little details that were also relevant to the chapter..

Although Roxy and Adderall are the main drugs, they interact with the others like Al - Alcohol, Crys - Crystal Meth, Dusty & Charlie aka The Coke Brothers - Cocaine, Hiro - Heroine, Molly - MDMA/ Ecstasy, Lucy - LSD. All with their own personalities that match their effect on people. This is somewhat cliche at times, yet effective.

There's a hierarchy within the group as they jockey for stature, influence and power. But the worst fate is to become irrelevant.

 We also watch them choose their next potential target, stalking them almost like prey. Although not all are bad. Addison just wants to help Ivy be more focused and achieve her goals, until he gets goaded into a competition with Roxy who wants to make it all the way to the top.  

They develop relationships with Isaac and Ivy, whispering sweet nothings or give pep talks, whatever is needed to keep them close and continue using to win their bet.

Honestly, this took some getting used to. Roxy and Addison (& the others) become real to you as do their developing relationships with Isaac and Ivy and then you remember they aren't real, just a voice in Isaac/Ivy's minds and it's a head scratcher at times lol Particularly with Roxy and Isaac where it takes on a more romantic tone (but don't worry this is not a romance!)

There are also interlude chapters with drugs like Phenobarbital and Morphine as they ease their patients into their final slumber without pain. The final interlude was just brilliant. I can't say who or why but the text in itself was haunting but also the hidden text within was equally so.

A few small quibbles though: Why is there no glossary for the drug names so I could figure out who they all were? While I knew or could figure out about 50% of the older drug names, I was at a loss for some of the newer ones and had to google many. Future editions should really include this!

I really hated where the Isaac/Roxy relationship was headed. The romantic aspect of it. But I loved the way it was handled. So I add it in the quibbles in case you read it and are annoyed. The payoff is worth it, IMO. Hang in there.

Roxy, Addison and all the drugs take on such life, that they almost overshadow the real humans, Isaac and Ivy. 

Overall: Roxy was a fascinating exploration of the pharmaceutical system, addiction and how it could happen so easily, to anyone - written in a way that's as compelling as it is totally bizarre.

A content note: Now, this book is very controversial, mainly because of it's portrayal of addiction to Adderall. Many readers feel that it stigmatizes people who have been helped by the medication and they don't need further ammunition for people to use against them.

I'm going to be honest here and say I have both used and abused drugs (not to the point of addiction like in the book but I was headed down a bad path as a teen). I have taken them for anxiety as an adult, with no problems. I have people in my life who use Adderall, opioids and antipsychotic drugs and it has saved their lives. But addiction is real and seemingly endless with a new drug taking over every generation. Roxy does an excellent job at showing how easy it is to fall down that path and just how difficult it can be to climb back out. This is that story.

But to address the complaints. I've read several of Neal Shusterman's answers in interviews and responses to readers. He feels that they balanced the good that drugs can do with the potential risk. I did feel the book was skewed in one direction - drugs = bad. While it does show that Adderall is helpful, he still always had Ivy pushing too hard and on the edge. Grandma was on Oxycontin for pain and did fine with it but, it mostly showed the "good" side of drugs as easing (mostly older) patients into a painless death while every other one relating to teens was jockeying for control and ultimately to kill their ward.

I think they absolutely got the lure and fall into addiction right (in my opinion and through my own experience - I understand that's not everyone's experience). It might not be the right fit for every reader and I haven't found anyone (that I saw) on Adderall who has reviewed it favorably so proceed with caution if you think it might upset you.