Hi stranger - long time no blog lol
Last week, I really considered throwing in the towel and ending the blog for good. I'm barely here, barely reading and every time I think I'm clearing the slate and making a comeback...I don't. I'm also becoming horrible at visiting and commenting on other blogs. Sorry about that.
But, then I decided, what does it cost (mentally because it's $0 for Blogger) to keep the space and have the outlet available if I need/want it? So here I am, no promises about when I'll post again but here's an update on what I've been up to.
LIFE:
The search for the cause of my coughing continues - although it's being narrowed down to vocal chord issues. If so, it's an easy fix - I will need speech therapy to learn how to keep my vocal chords open better and learn how to suppress my cough so they won't keep getting irritated. I have to see an ENT and they stick a camera down there to verify that is the problem. I already had my 1st speech therapy appointment and assessment but can't continue until verified diagnoses.
As part of finding the cause of my cough, I had a chest CT scan. My x-ray had looked good but the CT shows several nodules in my lung. They are too small to tell what they are - inflammation, cancer, scarring but they are suspicious in make up and I'll need another scan in 6 months. And likely yearly even if they look ok on this next scan - because they could change into cancer. My mom died of lung cancer, so that's a little (LOT) nerve-wracking. Since there isn't a whole lot I can do other than making myself crazy googling all potential outcomes - I'm doing my best to let it go for now and enjoy summer. Easier said than done- but I'm trying.
Spring is my favorite time of year and I'm so excited to get in my garden and back to the farmers market! We got new reclining chairs for our deck and have the hanging baskets up and it's my little escape/jungle.
READING:
Radio Silence by Alice Oseman ~ Goodreads That link leads to my review. I did a buddy read with Greg . He has been raving about Radio Silence for as long as I have been following his blog. Giving his penchant for dystopian/post apocalyptic - that's what I thought this book was. Imagine my surprise when I started reading a YA contemporary story about two HS kids lol After a bump start, I ended up enjoying it quite a bit and my discussion about with Greg.
While I don't remember them all - I would advise looking up content warning for this one first. Just to name a few: Abuse - both child and animal
The Honeys by Ryan LaSala ~ Goodreads I so want to write a review for this one! It's so hard though because a) review brain not working b) this book is so twisty and genre - not quite defying or bending - as much as it unexpectedly goes in several directions, while tying it all in to a horrifying package - it's hard not spoil. While there were flaws, they were easy to overlook as LaSala constantly kept me on my toes and did unexpected things with old tropes/cliches.
It started as a murder mystery with a bit of a unreliable narrator, rich, entitled kids bucolic summer in the woods We Were Liars vibe and turned into a Mean Girls, meditation on nature, horror with a nuanced observation of gender roles, perception and expectations.
Honestly, this book was just wacky and I loved it lol
Unf*ck Your Brain y Faith Harper ~ Goodreads See the LIFE portion of post above to why I read this. I already knew what she was saying (the science of anxiety and how to fix it), I learned most of it through therapy, but sometimes you (by you I mean me lol) are spiraling and need a reminder 😜
Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger ~ Goodreads I'm listening to Elatsoe now. This one came highly recommended by La La in the Library Elatsoe is a young Lipan Apache girl, living in an modern day America but one that has magic and monsters. She was born with the gift to raise the ghosts of dead animals. She has her faithful (dead) dog by her side. Her cousin is killed in a violent murder and his spirit comes to her to tell her to help get the person who killed him to protect his family. A good book so far, even though it's skewing a little younger than I had first expected. (It's YA but has a MG vibe) I love the detailed descriptions of everything. I feel like it's a great book for school group discussions and vocabulary budling.
I was going to get into what I've been watching too but the will make this post endless lol Maybe that will motivate me to post again soon???
I also want to give a quick shout out of support and all the best energy to Shybiker. They are going through a major health scare right now. If you follow Ally, please go send a positive message.
That's all for now! I'll be back....(I hope lol)
via GIPHY
I consider ending the blog at least once a month. Sometimes I wonder why I do it. It would be so much easier not to. But I always seem to talk myself out of it. Yikes, that's scary about the lung scans, considering your mom's history. But the fact that they're just watching it for now seems encouraging. I had to laugh at the Keanu gif. :)
ReplyDeleteThe reason for just watching is the size of the nodules. They're too small to say definitively or to even biopsy. Which is good. If they are cancerous, they will grow quickly - why I'm doing another in 6 months. If not, they'll have to watched in case they do turn into something eventually.
DeleteAs for blogging, I've just never gotten my mojo back. I do miss it, but I also put it like 10th on my list of things to do now lol
Keep the blog so you can come back when you have time. I'm sure that is very nerve wracking, sorry to hear that. Medical waiting, waiting to see what test results come back is always nerve wracking.
ReplyDeleteI am. It's better to have it hear if I want to post rather than starting from scratch again and & then barely posting there too lol
DeleteThere's absolutely nothing I can do for 6 months while I wait so I'm doing my best to just enjoy my summer. Easier said than done - but I'm trying lol
*HUGS* that's a lot going on. I hope you don't shut down the blog because we really don't have another space to "hang out" anymore. Maybe we need to make a new one so we can keep in contact more often. I do love your deck - it's amazing.
ReplyDeleteI doubt I will because I always miss it. I just wish I would be a little more motivated to sit down and type while something is on my mind.
DeleteI think my "book" blogging days are over. I just don't read enough anymore but I'd love to blog more about gardening, movies, still a few books or just pics of the dogs lol
Not sure that's interesting for anyone else lol but that's all what I'm doing now.
I wish there was some type of forum now that was fun and easy. I mostly DM people now. Which is fine, but I miss just scrolling and seeing what's up with everyone. I do see a lot of people's pics on IG but it's not as conversational as Twitter used to be.
That would be nerve wracking but it's good they're watching it. That's half the battle.
ReplyDeleteRadio Silence was fun! and like I mentioned- quite a bit different from what I remembered, considering I read it like five or so years ago. Man, have my tastes changed. And what I'm reading. When's the last time I read YA?????
Yes, as stressful as it is, it's better to know things early on and be watchful.
DeleteI think it's so funny how we were both taken aback with RS. Me thinking it was a whole other genre lol and you remembering it differently. Thanks for reading with me. I definitely would have given up early on without you to talk to and it turned out good in the second half.
Sure! It was definitely better in the econd half. I like the whole finding yoursef/ transitioning t ocollege thing though.
DeleteI am glad you are keeping an open mind when it comes to blogging. My kid was diagnosed with vocal chord dysfunction when she was rather small. Sounds a lot like what you are talking about. Those other things are terrible. This must be so stressful for you. I hope it's just the vocal chords and none of that other stuff. ((HUGS)) That's your yard? It's like an oasis.
ReplyDeleteYes! They think it's VCD. I need to see the ENT to make sure and see if anything is contributing to it (like my reflux, post nasal drip). Did she have speech therapy?
Delete*Hugs* I hope it is not something bad, or turns out to be something bad in the future.
ReplyDeleteAs for blogging, yes I did have a crisis of faith here this week. And I have been going strong so it was weird how it snuck up on me and hit me in the head. But maybe I will do as you think, keep it up, and check in now and then. If I throw in the towel so to say
Thank you :-)
DeleteI feel like, at least blogger is free, so if it just sits here waiting for me if I want the outlet, it's fine. Of course, who will be reading by then??? Lol
I often think about quitting blog but it is how I connect the most with certain people, and I just hate the idea of NOT having it around. LOL
ReplyDeleteI hope there's nothing serious going on with the nodules. And hopefully you get an official diagnosis soon with the coughing so you can get back to speech therapy if that's what you need! I have a friend that's a speech therapist - it's fascinating.
Lauren @ www.shootingstarsmag.net
Same. Almost everyone I still talk with is through blogging so I would be cutting myself off from my few connections. People don't reach out or follow the way they used to so I doubt I could start again or find new groups that way I did when I started.
DeleteI did my initial evaluation with the therapist. We just have to make sure that's what it is so I get the correct therapy but I can get started right away once I know.
I think about ending the blog every week or so at the moment - because I post sporadically and cant get back to any routine! - but I figure whatever. It's my blog. I can post when I want and ignore it if I want, lol. I've been down the route of deleting blogs and I've always regretted it so this time it's staying.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about the lung uncertainty! What a nightmare. You know what though? No matter what it is, they've found it early and they are monitoring you. Timeliness is a key factor in treatment and survivability so you're already ahead of the curve no matter what happens. I really hope that it's nothing major though... It feels redundant saying that but also like it needs said. Good juju / manifestation vibes or something. "Are you hearing me universe? It will be nothing..!"
My husbands grandfather is battling lung cancer at the moment... But it's spread and is an uphill battle. I hate all cancer but I have a particular hatred for that one.
Yeah, it's free and just sitting here so why not just roll with it?? Lol
DeleteMy husband's dad has two types of cancer right now and cancer is rough all around. The treatment is brutal.
I'm sorry you are going through all the extra scary health problems. Can they do a biopsy on one of the nodules? At least it would give you some piece of mind for the time being. 😕
ReplyDeleteI had a really rough year with blogging last year because my magical lifestyle posts are about the only content that keeps the blog afloat, and I didn't want the blog to become not a book blog. Not reading enough for a regular Tell Me Tuesday, my only bookish post that pulls in any solid amount of views, wasn't/isn't helping either. I decided to just go with the flow and post whatever, whenever, like you are doing now and I'm alot happier. I think you will be, too. 🤗
I think that might be one of the reasons I liked Elatsoe so much. It's like what YA (teen back then) used to be before YA became so popular with adults and they started "adultifying" it. 📚
They are too small right now to biopsy. It could cause more damage than help. But I guess if it's cancer, it grows quickly so the 6 month scan should be more helpful. If they're bigger then, we'd do biopsies.
DeleteElatsoe is very good, it's more my mood right now. I listen one or two days a week right now. I'm sooooo slow with audiobooks lol